First Bedtime Story

NOTE TO FRIENDS – Thank you for all of your support so far and for taking the time to come read the first Bedtime Story I’ve published (or at least giving me a hit on the blog). I wrote this in two and a half hours and it’s about 2,200 words. The story isn’t finished, but I got it to a nice cliff hanger and I’ll continue it in the near future, unless I get resounding negative feedback. What I need from all of you is a little constructive criticism. I can’t get better if I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. Bear in mind that this was just a little practice (and I’m afraid I’m a little rusty). Don’t worry about grammatical, punctuation or spelling errors – most of those are a result of rushing to get it finished as quickly as possible. I need your (honest!) opinion on the structure of the story and the overall storytelling itself. Send me a personal message or leave me a comment on Facebook, text me, call me, talk to me in person. Any input you can give would be amazing. If superheroes aren’t your thing, I understand. Suggest a story about a little girl who grooms ponies for the next Bedtime Story. I’ll keep these posts coming as often as possible and I’m hoping to have a legitimate collection of short stories self-published (probably through Lulu.com) by the end of 2011. Hold on tight. This is only the beginning!

DATE: 4-18-2011

TIME: 7:00 PM

SUGGESTION: Greg Chick- “Arrogant, disillusioned superhero who is sick of being altruistic and is pondering ways to achieve happiness and act only in his own self-interest, that doesn’t include conquering, invading or overall hurting others.” w/ Jason Nutter- “Person thinks they are God.”

                “I’m very sorry, ladies and gentlemen! As you all know, it’s not like Mr. Jones to be late. I’m sure he has a very good reason –,” suddenly, a strong gust of wind caused the portly man to stumble away from the podium and nearly knocked him off his feet.

                The man adjusted his tie and took a step back toward the microphone, but another man with slick, blonde hair, wearing a white suit and black sunglasses was standing in his place, “Sorry for the delay, Mayor Thompson. I’ll take it from here,” he turned to address the crowd, “People of Diamond City – the greatest city in the world – I regret to inform you that I will be retiring from the position as your Protector.  As you all know, I’ve done everything in my power to keep you safe from all of the evils that have come to your doorstep, but now it is time for me to move on to bigger and better things.”

                By this time, the crowd was in an uproar and a team of armored police was doing their best to keep the situation under control. The mayor, who was standing behind the former protector took a step forward in an attempt to speak into the microphone. The man continued as if he hadn’t noticed, “As you all know, I’m one of the few outted superheroes, living a single life as both Blake Jones and Blaze. I will do everything in my power to find a suitable replacement as your protector, but the truth is, it is your responsibility to protect yourselves. Perhaps Michael Fury or Miss Kinetic will take my place, but –“

                The red-faced mayor, at this time, stepped in and spoke into the microphone while looking into Blake Jones’ eyes, “You know that Fury is in an asylum and Miss Kinetic hasn’t been seen since she revealed her identity and her husband disappeared! You can’t leave this city at the hands of the villains that you drew here in the first place!”

                Blake Jones continued calmly, as if no one had interrupted him in the first place, “I believe it is all of your responsibilities to protect yourselves. This city didn’t begin to prosper until I arrived here a little over ten years ago and I’ve done all I can for you. If you all –“

                Blake shoved the mayor and dove in the opposite direction, just as a bright, blue flash of light shot between them and destroyed a pillar in the City Hall directly behind them. Debris fell on the two men as another stone pillar was blown to pieces. The next flash of blue shot straight into the sky as Blaze tackled its source to the ground.

                “What are you doing!?” Blake demanded.

                Another blue flash, shot from the tackled man’s eyes, narrowly missed Blake’s head. Blake took a swing at the man, but before he connected, he was sent flying through the air and crashed through the podium. Blaze sprung to his feet and was gone in a flash, leaving the people of Diamond City to fend for themselves.
                The attacked climbed to his feet and dusted off his jeans. He was easily two heads higher than the next tallest person in the crowd and at least twice as wide, shoulder-to-shoulder than anyone in Diamond City. He lumbered toward the damaged podium, his bare feet half-slapping, half-pounding the pavement. People scurried out of his way, but were too fascinated to run. They watched as he dug through splintered wood and took the microphone in his massive hand.

                “I’m sure you’re all wondering who I am,” boomed the large man. His voice reverberated in the crowd’s chests and made their legs shake. Their collective gaze was focused directly on his glowing, blue eyes, “Since the blonde kid seems to have given up the title, you may called me Protector. I am your new God. Worship me and I’ll watch over you.”

                Mayor Thompson, covered in dust from the two pillars that Protector had destroyed, attempted to shake one of the enormous man’s hands. He let out of a blood-curdling scream as Protector effortlessly crushed his hand. The mayor fell to the ground, cradling his mangled hand and his left arm.

                “There is no longer any need for a mayor or any other government official. From now on, you all answer to me. If anyone objects, the wrath of God will be brought upon you. This building behind me will become my temple and if my demands are met, you will all live in peace. The first order of business is the execution of Mayor Thompson and Mr. Blaze. Nobody touches God.”

                With that, Protector dropped the microphone into the pile of splintered wood and trudged his way into City Hall, crushing into dust beneath his feet. Meanwhile, the crowd gathered around the writhing mayor, many of them holding some of the larger pieces of the broken podium in their hands. Just as one man lifted a piece of wood high over his head, a bolt of lightning struck the flagpole at the top of City Hall.

                Everyone looked up at the clear, blue sky as another bolt of lightning struck the flagpole. A few people in the crowd realized it had come from across the street, not in the sky and turned around to find its source, but there wasn’t anything to see. After a few moments, the entire crowd turned their attention back to the mayor, but there was a red-cloaked woman standing over him. She pulled the hood back.

                “Miss Kinetic!” gasped a majority of the crowd, in unison.

                She acted quickly, thrusting her right hand forward and hitting the heavy man who had first lifted the weapon over his head squarely in the chest and sending him flying backwards into the street. She threw out her left hand and hit another man in the shoulder, throwing him off his feet and into more people standing behind him, causing them all to tumble to the ground in a pile of bodies. The cloaked women took this opportunity to help the mayor to his feet and make a break through the gap in the crowd that she had created.

                Two men quickly closed the gap and stood in front of Miss Kinetic and the mayor, weapons in hand. As they took a step forward, both men started convulsing and fell to the ground. Standing behind them was another mean, wearing a t-shirt and jeans over a full-length rubber suit. He had scruffy beard and a scar on his forehead that extended into his buzzed hairline. He and Miss Kinetic kissed passionately before she grabbed the mayor by the arm and dragged him away from City Hall.

                The man in the rubber suit stood his ground, his hands inches apart in front of his face, sending tiny bolts of electricity between his fingertips. The standoff lasted until a car horn sounded from around the corner. The man walked backwards, keeping an eye on the crowd and continuing to let the charged particles dance between his fingers. When he reached the corner, he jumped into the car and the three sped off with the crowd pursuing in vain for a hundred yards.

               

In the months that followed, a temple was built for Protector. Statues, which exaggerated his already abundant size, towered over the entrance. Nothing had been heard from Blaze, Mayor Thompson, Miss Kinetic or the other man, who had been recognized as Miss Kinetic’s husband, Rick Chambers, and had been coined “ElectRick” by the local newspapers. They were presumed dead.

                Protector had taken on Randy Pate as his right-hand man after learning that he hunted and killed Blaze. That partnership lasted three months, until Blake Jones’ autobiography was released and Protector had learned that he was still alive. Randy Pate was executed and Blaze of Glory was banned from Diamond City. Protector hired a party of super villains to hunt and kill Blaze at any expense.

                The buildings in Diamond City (the ones that were still standing, at any rate) were in poor condition and often housed far too many people. The shops were all boarded up and food was becoming scarce. Every building along the same street as City Hall had been reduced to dust, due to Protector’s afternoon “target practice”.

                Most of Blaze’s former companions, whom he rarely gave their due credit, had gone underground. Their true identities were still unknown and it had been easy for them to disappear. One of these companions, Fireball, thought he could put an end to the reign of terror in the first week. He stood in the wreckage of one of the buildings directly across from Protector’s half-built temple, screaming his name at the top of his lungs and holding a blazing stone in his right hand. He called Protector’s name six times before the behemoth stepped onto his recently built balcony. Fireball hurled the flaming stone at Protector, who shot a blue light through the fireball and then through Fireball himself. That was the last attempted assassination of Diamond City’s new God.

                Protector’s goons weren’t the only ones looking for Blaze. Miss Kinetic, Mayor Thompson and Elect/Rick (who sported a rubber suit with a lightning bolt separating the words Elect and Rick – he liked the name) had spent the better part of the last three months in search of the elusive hero. Every lead had fallen flat and they were currently walking through a heavily forested area where, if they were very lucky, they would stumble upon a mansion.

                The three of them had overheard an old man telling a barista at the local Starbucks that he had gotten lost in the forest and stumbled upon a mansion where there was an unbelievable wind that had blown his coat high into a tree and, when he finally got back to town, he had realized it must have blown his wallet out of his pocket. The story wasn’t enough for the man to earn a free mocha latte.

                They had been searching the forest for an hour and were beginning to think they had reached another dead end when they saw leaves being torn from their branches by a strong gust of wind ahead of them. Just as that sight registered to them, Elect/Rick was knocked off his feet. Mayor Thompson, whose hand was still in a large cast, did his best to hide behind Miss Kinetic.

                Miss Kinetic reached into her pocket and pulled out a penny. She held it out in front of her eye, standing perfectly still. She caught a glimpse of white about two hundred feet away from her flipped the coin in her left hand and flicked it toward the figure.

                “OUCH!”

                Elect/Rick had already stood up and began to charge the air in front of Miss Kinetic and Mayor Thompson while hiding behind a tree. A flash of white shot at the group, there was a loud grunt as the figure hit the wall of electrified air and Blaze was laying on the ground, too stunned to get up and make a break for his mansion.

                When Blaze had recovered, he agreed to lead the three of them back to his mansion under the threat of being electrocuted again. The truth was that Rick was running out of electricity and would need to recharge before sending a jolt strong enough to stun Blake again.

                They finally reached the mansion after innumerable twists and turns. Blaze begrudgingly invited them inside and took a seat on a white leather chair. He motioned to a similar looking couch and the three captors sat down across from him.

                “What do you guys want? I’m done with the whole hero shtick.”

                “That’s not how it works Blake. You can’t just walk away from this. Thanks to you, Diamond City is in shambles,” Miss Kinetic said calmly, holding out an arm to keep the mayor from rising to his feet.

                “If it weren’t for me, Diamond City would have been in shambles years ago! I’m retired. I made more money off of my book than I did in ten years as a superhero. I’d suggest that guys forget about Diamond City. I’ve seen what that guy – Protector – can do. What makes you think I can stop him?”

                “You’re the only one quick enough to get close to him. Besides, you’re not going to have much of a choice. I heard at least three people follow us here. All the commotion in the woods must have caught their attention. Protector is going to keep sending people after you until one of you is dead. Come out of retirement for one more fight and then we’ll protect Diamond City and you can come back to your mansion and live in peace.”

                “Fine. One last fight and then I’m done. I wonder who he sent after –“

                They all jumped to their feet as a nearby window shattered and a black ball with a digital timer on it landed in the middle of the four of them.

                “Six, Five, Four…”

                Blaze sighed, “Of course he’d send Firepower…”

NOTE: I'll work on the aesthetics of the blog and fill out on the profile information, etc., in the near future. 

NOTE 2: A few of these characters are ones I created for a comic book idea that I hope to work on someday. They were in no way, shape or form meant to be used in narrative format, but I was pressed for time and had to pull them out of the vault. Thanks for reading!!